Now that the cat's out of the bag

Sometimes, I feel inspired to write a blog post and just save it until I feel like posting it. It doesn't happen often, and sounds pretty lame when I admit it. But pregnancy is something that keeps inspiring me to write, but then inevitably my feelings change shortly after, and I'd write something, and two days later I'd reread it, and think, "That is so 48 hours ago!" and punch "delete" until it all disappeared.

So, from my 17 week perspective, here is the most accurate description I can give of how this whole pregnancy thing has gone down for me.

(I couldn't resist.  For more, click here.)

When I first got married, I was hypersensitive about the negative things that people would say about their experiences with pregnancy and parenthood (not that I heard those things very often).  I couldn't tolerate even the slightest unhappy comments.  It was deeply discouraging to me, because I knew pregnancy and motherhood was definitely in my future.  I remember coming home from an enrichment activity when I was a newlywed, sitting on the bed and literally bursting into tears because of all the complaining I'd heard all night about the trials and difficulties of motherhood, with no redeeming or positive follow up comments.  I believe the phrase "in the trenches" had been used many, many times that night (and I studied World War I in depth in London, so I know my trench warfare, people).  For a while, I felt doomed to an unsatisfying and frustrating life.

Then, lightening struck.  I didn't just want any old kid.  I wanted to meet OUR kid.  I realized it's not like any old random baby would land in our laps, it would be one that was like us.  And I like us, so, obviously, I'd like our kid, right?

And now, I think I get it.  If you had your dream job or were building your dream house or writing your dream novel, I'm positive you'd have hurdles to jump along the way that would make you want to grumble, but you'd still be in the midst of doing that "dream" thing the whole time.  I think pregnancy/motherhood is the ultimate version of that.  When it all seems really hard and miserable, it's still in the midst of doing your ultimate "dream" thing.  And I think to most mothers, that fact is a given.   To a childless lot, it's a weird thing that was very difficult for me to understand, but no matter how frustrating it is to feel sick and tired way more intensely than you ever have before, it's still outweighed by how exciting and fun it is!

With that said, I can freely admit complain that for the first two and a half months, basically everyday was a sick day.  How quickly I sat up in bed in the morning could actually make me want to hurl, so I had to learn to roll over and sit up slowly, and then, immediately stumble into the kitchen to grab a fistful of saltines and a small glass of club soda before I could do much else.  Some days were extremely rough.  Especially in the days leading up to my discovery of gummy prenatal vitamins (replacing those awful Kroger brand horse pills that must have been mostly made of cardboard and wood chips, judging from how they affected my insides).

During this time, saltines and club soda were the only things I could really count on to help me keep it together.  I started carrying crackers in my purse wherever I went, and keeping a cup of club soda in my driver's side cup holder.

Harry is wonderful.  Whether you're feeling elated, depressed, nauseated, energized, or anything else on the spectrum, he's the best person to have around.  He doesn't pressure me to do anything a certain way.  He only encourages me to find ways to do things things that I like.  And he's SO excited!  He's been excited to be a dad pretty much since childhood, and it makes this whole thing so much more fun to have him excitedly spouting out parenting/name ideas right and left.

I have also been surprised at how exciting it's been to be pregnant!  Especially since Harry and I kept it completely to ourselves for about four months.  As I get older, I'm getting more and more private.  It's one of the key ways I know I'm turning into my mother, who always kind of plays her cards close, in the best way.  I still over-share on occasion, I'm sure, but big pieces of news like this, I relish keeping quiet.  We liked the idea of staying mum, even from our parents.  We even (well, Harry even) considered not saying anything EVER, just waiting until people noticed that I clearly looked pregnant, but I thought that was taking it a little far.

And I have to say, after waiting 4 months to finally spill the news, I was really hesitant to tell people!  All of a sudden I just felt so shy about it.  I kept picturing myself sounding like an overly intimidated Lutz.

And with that said, any and all advice/recommendations on all things "MOTHERHOOD" are welcome!  I've tried to take mental notes on things that work for people over the years (Bumbos! Swings! Bob strollers!), but really, I know that I don't know anything.  If you have a golden piece of wisdom for me, feel free to leave it in the comments, or in an email, or in a scroll delivered via carrier pigeon.  Seriously.  Because I may still be slightly emotionally discombobulated in some ways, but I'm feel more stable these days, so, in the immortal words of Liz Lemon, "Hey, nerds! Who’s got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn’t cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi."

And also, thank you in advance.

In other news, here is a list of names we will not be using:

1) Adolf
2) Mussolini
3) Gremlin
4) YOLO
5) Voldemort
6) Gollum
7) !!! (Pronounced, "Ahh!")
8) Malificent
9) Jumbotron
10) Hashtag

And now, without any further ado, I present:

The Sarrison Reynolds Baby of the Future (TM)! Coming to a blog/Instagram near you August 27th, 2013!

Lovingly dubbed "the dino picture." The very instant this baby appeared on the ultrasound screen, he/she turned his/her head right toward the camera and opened his/her mouth for a second as if to say, "Hi!"  Or, "Rawr!"  The doctor excitedly yelled, "Did you see that?!"

Giving Dad a hello

Up close profile with a little waving hand

We love him/her already.