Garden variety world domination

So, we recently discovered that our names (first and last) mean “Home Ruler Supplanter Ruler” and “Princess Elf Counsel Ruler." Yes, Elf Counsel is real. I’m just saying. If we take over the world someday, you’ll all know you had it coming, so don’t get all huffy when I demand control over all your property and stuff like that.

Got me thinking.

My brother’s name really does mean “crooked nose.” But when he was young and overly impressionable we made sure he thought it really meant “Red Power Ranger” or something similarly awesome. Now that he’s a 6’4” former rugby/water-polo-playing-machine-turned-tallest-missionary-in-Ecuador, I don’t think he’s weighed down by the whole name-etymology thing. Oh, and his nose isn’t at all crooked. Or at least if it is, I can’t tell. He'll make a good assistant (hit man?) in our world-take-over plot.

I’m nervous sometimes because over the course of my life I’ve been so thankful to people for helping me out in times of great distress, that in my moment of overwhelmed gratitude I’ve promised to name my children after them. And what if they show up on my doorstep one day, demanding I follow through with my promises? Thus, I’ll be naming my children: 1) Tow truck guy from Triple A, 2) Couple who jump started our car, and 3) Waiter who snuck me a free piece of chocolate cake that one time. [Note: The chocolate cake episode may or may not have been a "time of great distress." But I am pretty sure I blurted out the namesake promise all the same.]

Towey, Jumpstart, and Freecake, for short. Our three children. All girls too, probably.

At least they make pretty good girl rapper names, right? There's a career for them. Even if they are the object of giggling and ridicule for it.

But you won't be laughing... because I'll be Queen of the World, sucka.